Taking for granted the lasting presence of certain individuals can immerse one in an illusion of belonging and security. So much so that their sudden absence becomes devastating and shocking. It is in these moments when you begin to doubt every “presence” in your life and question yourself: Is there really anyone in this world who truly “belongs” with me?

This situation often occurs after experiencing a profound loss; when the bird is truly gone!

In emotionally denying the loss of a loved one or an absent beloved, gradually, a shadow of their presence joins you. A shadow between presence and absence. Sometimes you even feel the weight of their body in your arms, as if you are holding and carrying their illusory presence.

Strangely enough, even the presence of those who are still with you, living life by your side, no longer brings certainty and peace. You see everyone in a haze of being and nonbeing. Indeed, presence is unpredictable. Anyone might cease to exist at any moment. This awareness can be overwhelming, but might also unshackle you, offering a pure liberating experience.

Yasaman Rasouli

December 2023